simplypurkey:

jazzumon:

destielkills:

auntiesnixshipper:

awkwardteenagenerves:

discard-and-discover:

evolve-within:

disregardwomen:

When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

Jesus I envy that relationship. 

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

i love all of your moms

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.

That last story is worth reblogging

(Source: reverendputtyofficial)

transgambit:

transgambit:

Hogarth Hughes from Iron Giant is fucking iconic,,,,,,. This kid gave a government agent laxatives and he.. this fuckin guy shits himself in the woods all damn day while hogarth plays with his giant robot. its like i raised him myself

does this look like a kid who gives a single fucking crusty damn? fuck no. Hogarth Hughes. fucking legend. 

giratinace:

90% of anime: these characters are going to stand still and only move their faces while they talk for like 5 minutes

Studio bones: if reigen stops moving for more than 5 seconds he will die

cybeast-gregar:

cybeast-gregar:

blueonwrestling:

weebyrus:

blueonwrestling:

THE FUCKING BOY KENNETH OMEGA CAME OUT TO HOPES AND DREAMS, THE FUCKIN’ LAD.

ALSO MAYBE DRESSED UP AS KRIS FROM DELTARUNE TOO.

THE ONE WINGED ANGEL PUT ON A HELL OF A PERFORMANCE, BUT GO ACE.

I did some research and yes, toby fox did make it. Had no clue he was into wrestling, but the more you know.

toby and kenny met up around september last year at a tokyo game show

plus undertale is massive in japan, so theres a good following with him being in the biggest japanese wrestling promotion in the world.

there’s also this collaboration between the two of them

sweetoothgirl:

Strawberry Chocolate Brownie Trifle

yumekawa-updates:

YOSUKE USA 💜

(Source: yosuke-idocorp.com)

kingkyabetsu:

tdrk

inquisitorialbusiness:

The Transgender Defender and his hammer of TERF deletion

powerfrog:

Oh, I wanna dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

(Source: powerfrogarchive)

zicygomar:

eevee-nicks:

Actual line from the players guide. Samus is canonically not afraid of looking silly.

I don’t know why but that just made my day even better than it already is.

I couldn’t re-find that one comment about the clown school, but I drew it anyways

drowninginfelines:

my animal crossing character, heelying into the museum wearing sunglasses and holding a pina colada in one hand and an enormous bug in the other: blathers, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,

(Source: tarvek-sturmvoraus)

gingbat:

thatpettyblackgirl:

today’s kids will never understand the horrors of having to share ONE computer with the whole damn family

Shoutout to the time I became an atheist at age 9 bc I searched porn on the family desktop and didn’t know how to clear cookies and when I prayed for god to help me nothing happened

(Source: twitter.com)

dwendog:

fire-is-her-water:

abracataako:

merak-zoran:

fire-is-her-water:

My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.

When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.

Originally posted by haidaspicciare

What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!

I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D

She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:

Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”

I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.

New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night: 

She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.

And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.

ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe

THIS TED TALK WAS NOT LONG ENOUGH I NEED MORE INFORMATION!

(Source: cameoappearance)